February 7, 2001
Happy New Year!
OK, so this is it. The final chapter of the “Jill at Udayan” saga. I can’t
believe it, but there’s less than six weeks left in my time at Udayan.
First of all, a lot of my friends have emailed asking about the earthquake.
Apparently Calcutta did feel some of the tremors but neither I nor anyone around
me felt any personally. One of the fancy clubs here has a pool and the
earthquake caused the water to make waves which freaked a lot of people out, but
that’s the only story I heard about. Some of my friends have friends or
relatives that were in Gujarat a few days before or were there when it happened
and are okay or have not been heard from yet… There have been people in the
Howrah train station here in the city just living there searching every train
that comes in from the west for their family. One man has been there ever since
last Saturday and is not moving until his three sons get there. He had sent his
two younger sons, aged 12 and 15 to visit the older one in Bhuj for a few days.
He hasn’t heard from them yet. He left his wife at home and said he wouldn’t
return without their sons. He just sits there, waiting. The whole thing is so
incredibly sad. I read today about the urban poor survivors of the quake. They
didn’t live in the fancy highrises that went down and their shelters (shanties,
slums) didn’t kill them when they collapsed so they get no relief, no food, no
sympathy. Yet there is no work left for them (not many people are stopping for a
shoe shine in Bhuj) so they have no way of feeding their families. The Orissa
super-cyclone last year, all the floods in the fall and now this. Personal taxes
and railway fares are being hiked up to help pay for it. Thank god for all the
foreign aid.
Winter abruptly ended a few days ago. It was incredible. On the morning of
Jan 31st, there was this thick fog engulfing all of Calcutta (I guess I should
say “Kolkata” now. The name has been officially changed. As if they couldn’t
spend their money in better places…) and since then it’s been hot during the day
again. There are 6 distinct seasons in India and the nicest one just ended. So
many weddings and picnics and fun things happen in Dec and Jan. It got quite
cold at night and during the day it was just perfectly pleasant. It’s still okay
now, but it’s getting hotter and hotter by the day.
On December 13th, Dominique de Williencourt, a French cellist, came to put on
a benefit concert for Udayan. He stayed here with us and really got a taste of
what makes this place so special. My 18 violin students played with him at the
end of his concert and charmed the audience to pieces. It was so cool. Everyone
was very impressed with them (most of all me!!)
A lot of my free time in December was spent writing two articles. In
mid-December I wrote one that will be published in a BC English as a Second
Language journal (BC TEAL) sometime in the next few months (thanks to Art
Kratzmann for his help with that one) and over Christmas I wrote one for the
internationally circulated STRINGS magazine that’ll be published in April
(thanks to Stephanie Judy for her help with that one!). I brought my laptop with
me up to Darjeeling in the Himalayas for the 10 day break over the holiday. It
was such a wonderful Christmas. Being in the mountains makes me feel so good.
After I finished the article, I went on a three day trek all by myself. No
guide, no porter, just me and my thoughts. It was absolutely wonderful. On New
Years Eve, I was at 3650 metres in Nepal. The top of the mountain was half India
and half Nepal. I could jump from one country to the other with no visa
required! And that night, I got my snow; not much, but it was white and cold so
I was fully content. The next morning I set off down the mountain and within 15
minutes of leaving the trekkers hut at the top, found myself face to face with a
yak. For future reference for all of you, yaks are huge, scary animals.
Especially when you’re wearing a bright red jacket and they’re in the middle of
your path. At first it was lying down and then it got up and started lumbering
towards me. Somehow I managed to quell my initial desire to turn around and run
screaming back up the hill. Instead, I moved off the path to let it pass. I went
behind a little bush, hoping the “out of sight, out of mind” factor would work
in my favour. It stopped and followed me off the path. It was on one side of the
bush, me on the other and whichever way I started to go, it mirrored me. I got
frightened and made a sudden move and it made a sudden move too! I finally just
walked out and as nonchalantly as possible, strode down the path, resisting the
urge to run. It followed me for a bit and then once around the corner, I started
running. Yikes! Later that evening at the trekkers hut, I met a fellow who told
me of a yak who had recently charged two trekkers and had forced them off a
cliff. It’s always good to hear those stories AFTER the fact.
The most exciting news for me right now is that Eelko (my boyfriend) is
here!! He arrived on January 14th. He is working at Udayan, eating here, washing
himself and his clothes here, all he doesn’t do here is sleep because of the
fact that we’re not married. Even though we asked to stay in separate rooms,
Father Stevens preferred that he live outside of Udayan due to these cultural
sensitivities. Both of us suspected something like that would happen so after
the initial “@&!!*” it was okay. He has a room just down the lane in the
village. He’s got some really nice neighbours and it’s working well so far. It’s
wonderful to have him here. He is doing all the computer training which is a
huge responsibility off my shoulders. I was the one that pushed for a computer
here in the first place, so leaving the place with some trained staff is pretty
essential. He’s got 6 of the older boys learning some computer skills as well so
that when Udayan gets computers for the kids, these ones will be able to help
out a bit. He’s also spending a lot of time playing with, cuddling, and loving
the kids, things he is exceptionally good at!
After Eelko got here, we took a week off to go to Bangladesh. My visa was a
six-month visa and expired on January 19th. I was told by everyone (including
the immigrations people here in Calcutta) that I could just go out of the
country and renew my visa for another 6 months. So I went to the Indian High
Commission in Dhaka on a Thursday with my biggest concern being getting the visa
issued on the same day so that I wouldn’t have to wait till Sunday to pick it up
(in Muslim Bangladesh, Friday and Saturday is the weekend, Sunday’s the first
day of the week). Well, imagine my surprise when I was told that my visa was
non-extendable and that they could only issue me a one week transit visa if I
had a confirmed flight out of the country within that week. They said that
tourist visas can only be extended by the issuing office so they calmly
suggested I jump on a plane to Vancouver, get it extended and come back. What a
shock. I went to the Canadian Embassy and they suggested I tell the truth (what
else would you expect from Canadians?). I had been “posing” as a tourist because
it was actually illegal for me to be doing volunteer work on a tourist visa.
When I got my original visa in Vancouver, I had to write a letter saying I would
not do any volunteer work during my time in India. What total insanity. Anyway,
I went back to the Indian High Commission and talked to the people higher up and
they all knew Udayan and liked what I was doing and somehow I managed to get a
3-month visa out of them. They said they’ve only ever issued a one-month visa as
a concession for people in my circumstance so I felt pretty lucky! I am legal in
India until April 17th. In order to see at least a bit of the country, Eelko and
I will leave Udayan two weeks earlier than planned, in mid-March, and have four
weeks to travel in India. Then we’ll go to Nepal and Tibet for the rest of the
time. From Kathmandu, I’ll get a transit visa to give me a week in India before
my flight leaves from Calcutta in July. I’m disappointed that we won’t be seeing
more of India but Nepal and Tibet will more than make up for it, I’m sure.
Dominique Lapierre (author of “City of Joy” and fellow who paid for my flight
over here) and his wife came for their annual visit on January 31st. It
was such a great day. We put on a programme for them and my violin students,
recorder students and choir all performed wonderfully. There were two camera
crews with the Lapierres, a French one and a Spanish one, both of whom are
making documentaries. They’ll be sending Eelko and I a copy of each. It’ll be so
neat to have some of this on tape!
In the entire six and a half months that I’ve been here, I’ve been feeling
most negative about things just recently. At the worst of times, I wonder why I
even came because so little of what I’ve done will really continue. I know
that’s not really true though. I do feel that I’ve made a difference that will
last at least on the inside of the kids if not on the outside. We’ve been
looking for replacements but if it does happen, it probably won’t be for another
half year at the very earliest. So I started a programme two years ago with 6
kids and 3 violins. Now there are 18 kids and 18 violins and no one to take over
when I leave. Luckily, Father Stevens really believes in the importance of music
education and is just about as distressed about the situation as I am. I mean,
we knew that this would eventually happen, but it doesn’t make it any easier.
I’m teaching them a method that emphasizes the use of their ears and that’s
why they’re doing so well. People are really amazed when they hear how good they
sound and see how far they’ve gotten in 6 months. It’s sad to start something
and build it up to a high level and then know that it’ll sink so low within a
few months of leaving. There’ll be no one here on a regular basis to tune their
violins, to teach them new songs by ear, to inspire them. Joseph comes on
weekends but he has such low standards. He grew up in an institutional setting
and learned violin in an institutional kind of way so of course, that’s the way
he teaches now. Joseph was one of my students in the orchestra when I first came
here in 1998 and I’m the one that set him up here at Udayan. I’ve tried doing
some training with him, but there’s just no interest and it takes more energy to
teach the way I do, so he’s simply not interested. The most important things
that music teaches, things like self-discipline, and the notion that hard work
pays off and the self confidence that comes with that will stop being taught.
I have also been feeling pretty down about the teachers’ English class that I
have. Six teachers come to Udayan daily and teach the primary grades. Only one
of them speaks any English at all. I worked with them on their own English a
bit, but in light of my limited time here, I primarily made it a class where I
taught them things they could do in their own classrooms. Anyway, to make a long
story short, I know that they will be using very little if any of the
suggestions I gave them. If there is any extra effort required, they simply have
no desire to do it, whatever it is, no matter how much it would benefit their
students.
By the way, I want to share something with you all. I’ve decided that I know
what would eventually solve all of India’s problems. Ready?! If people took
pride in their work, everything would be different. Buildings and roads would be
constructed better, everything would be cleaner, the government wouldn’t be so
corrupt. It’s not always just sub-standard equipment and materials that make
things break down so quickly. So many people just don’t care about the finished
product. Above all, if teachers took pride in their students, things would
change. Standards of everything would go so far up. Well I guess it’s especially
the teacher thing that I’m thinking about.
Another thing that started off these negative feelings was the earthquake.
After hearing about it, Eelko and I took a day off and contacted a bunch of
relief agencies to see if we could hook up with one that could use our help. We
were really close to just jumping on a train that Sunday night. Being so close
to one of these disasters for once and still not being able to directly do
anything to help is a bad feeling. It felt like the intense kind of frustration
in the monster dream when it’s getting closer and closer but you’re paralyzed
and can’t run away. Reading in the paper every day about this tragedy that was
happening only a day’s train ride away from our beautiful, peaceful home seemed
(and still does) unreal. It seemed so much more important to just go and show up
and do whatever tiny bit we could (and we were very aware of how tiny our bit
would be) than to stay here and make music and teach English to kids. I guess
when something like that happens, it makes everything we do seem pretty
insignificant. The relief agencies that we contacted all told us that there were
enough people there to help handing out blankets and stuff. Some said they may
be able to use our help in the next few months, so we may be doing that for our
last month in India, we’ll see.
Anyway, I guess I’m sounding really down now, but I’m also feeling good about
some things. For example I think that the computer will always be used and will
continue being an asset to Udayan for many years to come. That’s a really good
feeling. My choir and recorder students have enjoyed their time with me and I
don’t mind leaving them with no more than a greater appreciation of music. And
hearing my English students talk to me in English is pretty nice too. They have
learned a lot since I got here, but not nearly as much as me. I feel so much
more confident about teaching a language now. Not having a textbook to follow
and making up all my own lessons and things was good for me (if a bit stressful
at times). The kids are always approaching me and practising the constructions
we’re doing in class. It’s neat, I really do feel like I’ve succeeded in
creating a little island of English in this environment.
The Book Club that was started in November is a huge success too. So much so
that I’ve roped Eelko into helping me with it and made Book Club meetings twice
a week now instead of once a week. The kids each have a notebook and for each
book they read, they have to write the title, the author, the main characters,
and then five new words that they learned along with their Bengali or Hindi
translations. Their English is not near advanced enough for them to write out
definitions in English. But when they come to me with a finished book, they have
to explain each of their new words to me in English, either by giving synonyms
or by acting it out, it’s great fun! I have a feeling that my promise to bring
everyone who finishes 20 books before I leave out to the movies has been the key
motivating factor behind the popularity, but that’s fine with me. I am
definitely not above bribing my students. Udayan didn’t even own English-Hindi
or English-Bengali dictionaries before the Book Club started going. Now the kids
are getting lots of practise working with dictionaries. It’s great fun!
And having Eelko here to share this with me is so wonderful and not only
because he acts as a deterrent to the groping men in the train! He’s now
experiencing first-hand the magic that I’ve been describing since July. We’re
learning so much about ourselves and our relationship and it’s just making
everything so much stronger. Basically, we figure that if we survive India
intact, we’ll make it through anything!
Feb 3rd was the day that Udayan chose to observe International Leprosy
Awareness Day. We all marched from here to the railway station (about 5 kms),
holding placards and handing out pamphlets on the way. It was pretty exciting
actually. A lot of the children’s leprosy affected parents marched with us too.
One thing I really want to do before I leave is bring my violin and flute
students to some of the kids’ homes and perform for their parents. The parents
don’t have chances to see their kids perform and it would be so nice for the
kids to have a chance to show their parents how hard they’ve been working.
By the way, I’ve had even more intimate contact with the bugs since last time
we talked. I’m proud to say that I got my first case of head lice just two weeks
ago! I was surprised that I didn’t get any earlier as the kids here get them
regularly. The bugs kept a really low profile over the winter. It was nice. Just
in the last week the mosquitoes have come back and I’ve noticed little clusters
of tiny ants swarming over any crumbs on the floor again. But that’s okay,
there’s room for us all. I’m going to miss my families of geckos. They’re
friendly, harmless things (as long as they stay out of your food) and I
especially like the fact that they stay on the walls and don’t hang out on the
floor.
If any of you are interested in seeing either of the articles I wrote, just
let me know and I’ll email them to you. I talk a bit more in depth about
teaching English and violin here. I’ll send one more very short mass email when
Eelko and I have finished Udayan’s website. We’ll send you the URL so that you
can check it out. It’s going to be really simple and to the point. In short, it
will be very obvious that Udayan didn’t pay some big-time internet professionals
to do the job! We’re having fun learning as we go.
Take care and best New
Years wishes to you all!!
love, Jill
To contact the school:
Udayan
PO Box 10264
Calcutta 700 019
India
www.udayan.org
